Less than one week

...left. before finals.

I have a disease. It's called Medical School Acquired Insomnia (MSAI).

Urban Dictionary has provided us with this definition of med school:

World's last legal form of torture. After two years in a gulag learning to "help people", you are shipped off to Siberia for had labor to "help people" as a resident. Survivors and escapees of these death camps are rewarded ridiculously by the institutions that monitored the torture. Victims can be identified by scrubs, an enduring symbol of pain and suffering

Sad part is, when I do find the time to sleep (i.e. - last night, around 2am), I rolled around in bed til 3am, and gave up. Now, I am still studying.

Tomorrow - lab from 8am - 12pm. class from 1pm - 4pm. tomorrowisgoingtosuck.

End of the semester

I have been long gone, which I have no one else to blame but myself, and medical school.

This semester was intense. Obviously the coursework was difficult, but it was more of the scheduling that intensified it the most. We had early morning labs, and 1 - 5pm lectures, and somehow, we were expected to study for hours on end til 2am, and repeat the next day.

There were a few of us who left, and there will be a few of us who don't return next semester, which I am slightly envious of.

Soldiers who return from the war say the cliche phrase, "You don't know what it's like until you've been through it," and to some degree, I couldn't agree more.

People often talk about "all nighters"...partying, watching tv, or even writing a paper. I'm no stranger to the idea of an all nighter, but I have never performed so many all nighters in such a short span of time in my entire life. When I did have some time to sleep (i.e. - skipping a class or a lab), due to my sleep cycle being so corrupt, I wasn't able to fall asleep. I often wondered what was more torturous: staying up all night studying, or laying in bed for 3 hours hoping to fall asleep.

We have had many sleepless nights, many nights where we often aimlessly wandered around the library for no apparent reason other than the sleepless zombie state. We have had many nights of contemplating what it is that makes us continue on, and if there were a loophole in which we can utilize to escape from this madness. We've had our momentous joy of receiving that good grade and we've had our tragic moments of receiving a poor grade and possibly realizing that our dreams of being doctors would be shattered.

Finals are coming up in approximately one week. Good luck to everyone.

My friend Cloud (MD Fluffy: http://mdfluffy.blogspot.com/) was generous enough with his time to make a few videos of what med life is all about:

http://www.xtranormal.com/profile/4458057/

My earlier post may have been...

...a bit...premature.

Remember how I was excited that my trip so far has had NO problems and I was SUPER happy?

...Halfway to NY, the pilot tells us that we have a technical error. Great. Tell a hundred people stuck in a pressurized sardine can that we have a problem, at 10,000+ feet. Fan...tastic.

Apparently, something went wrong with the sensors, and we had to turn back around to Trinidad.

After sitting around on the plane for about two hours (did I mention, that it's HOT and STUFFY in the plane?), they gave us food and something to drink...but you can tell that more and more people were getting annoyed by the heat and the restlessness. So finally, the pilot told us to disembark, and now I'm back at the gate. YAY!

...grr. Forget my "get to NYC by 10pm" plan. It's looking more and more like I'll get there by morning.

TRINIDAD!

Piarco's airport picked up the slack! Last time I was here, I only remember there being a KFC which closed down by 9pm, so I was starving all night with a bottle of water. Now? Subway, Church's, a sushi joint?!? Where am I? and this place is WAYYY better than GND's airport. What the heck?

This trip, surprisingly, is looking really good so far.

GND

1) I was not charged the "departure tax" that many usually pay. It's 60 ECs or about $24

2) My checked bag was close to 70 lbs, 20 lbs over the limit...no charge.

3) My carryon was also wayyy over. Again, no problem.

4) My flight was only 5 minutes late. To anyone that's flown out of GND, that's ridiculous. 2 hours delayed in the standard.

5) My flight arrived to Trinidad 10 minutes earlier than scheduled.

TRINIDAD

1) Church's chicken.

2) My checked bag, again, super over. Again, no words.

3) My carryon was over, but they let me check in 2 bags, so again, no charge.

The only downside is that whenever I'm getting on a puddle jumper (think small prop planes), usually, I'm assigned seats next to either fun people or attractive females. The problem arises when the flight attendant comes over, tells the fun person/attractive female to get up and switch seats with the biggest/fattest/angriest person on the plane to "balance out the weight."

Is it karma? Is it my girlfriend who called the airlines ahead? Do I put that past her? Of course. ...

The abomination sitting next to me from GND --> POS (Trinidad) reminded me of my 5th grade gym teacher. She was big, and she was angry. She breathed heavily and noisily, and she was doing her puzzle book, which meant she had to stick her elbows out (her side fat didn't allow her to keep her elbows to herself) and push my tiny ass frame to the aisle. Why was she so angry? Quite possibly because the tiny ass asian kid next to her was taking over her 2nd seat.

Anywho, plans when returning home:

1) try not to die on the way home from JFK

2) order chinese food

3) shower

that's about it. I hope to find some time away from work to see a few people that'll be in nyc this summer.

I'm done.

I've been behind. Post-midterms, I was hauling major butt (6 - 8 hours a day in the library) and it seemed a little wrong for me to take time away to keep up the blog (although I did find other distractions)...I woulda felt guilty about the 10 minutes I spent, even though I would have spent the 10 minutes waiting on food. Bizarre. I know.

I'm currently at the airport, waiting to board my flight...I board in about an hour, but we all know that my flight will be delayed. Why? Because it always is. I just hope it doesn't delay to the point I miss my connecting flight.

This semester had its ups and downs, but mostly ups. Studying was difficult, as I had never spent this much time studying in my entire life...consistently. My last semester at Emory, people always knew me to be in the library, but even then, I was there at 9 - 10pm, and I left promptly around 2am. Here, it's been from 7 - 8pm straight til 2am, and even then, I felt inadequately prepared. I hope that this is a wakeup call for me, that nothing from here on out will be easy, as everything will be harder as the semester progresses.

I've met some wonderful people here, and although my reputation as a jerk, a douchebag, manwhore, jack@ss, etc. will carry on, I will miss them dearly; whether it be because they will be away in the UK doing the KBT program for a year, or because they didn't make it. Despite my comments (my "pool" at the beginning of the year), I truly believed that everyone that worked hard deserved to make it through, and I truly believe most of us did. To my friends and colleagues of those who missed it by a few points, don't give up. I hope to see you as an MD in 4 years.

As much as I complained about the program, the country, the professors, etc., I found myself complaining about the idea of returning to NY to work. As I go through the memories I've had over the short four months, I truly did enjoy my time here. I've been through wonderful experiences with people that I will probably never forget and people that will remain by my side for the next decade. In retrospect, even with the studying, GND has been a vacation for me.

As far as my plans for the summer, I will be returning to NY for work until about July, and then taking about 4 - 6 weeks off in the summer to rest, relax, possibly shadow someone, and to study and be somewhat prepared for August.

I shall be going through security soon, but I will try to update in Trinidad. Last time I was there (august 09), it was a craphouse that made the airport in GND look like the Westin...apparently, they have remodeled + rebuilt to the point it rivals JFK. I am skeptical. We shall see.

Things I Miss...

Here are the things I miss...

1. Legit fast food. We have a KFC but that's about it. I miss USDA processed beef. McDonald's, Burger King, even Arby's. A Chinese food joint. Yes, we have a few, but they all suck. They all taste like they've been made out of chicken that's been fried seven times and sat in the fridge for a week.

2. 24-hour coffee/food/store. The entire island shuts down at around 8pm. Grocery stores close at 9pm, food joints close earlier, and the only "coffee" place on campus closes at 11pm. Say you're sitting around at the library at 2am, and want some food or coffee. Tough cookies.

3. Fast customer service. The island's customer service doesn't compare to the states. You think you had a rude cashier/server? HAH! At least you can complain to the manager or something. The average perspective here on servers/cashiers is that the customers OWE something to the servers/cashiers. It's a little bizarre. If you ask for something, they often roll their eyes or scoff, etc. Chances are, if you go to a restaurant and order something to eat, be prepared to wait a while. Some restaurants are better than others, but overall, it's bad. I've waited anywhere from 5 - 10 minutes to 3.5 hours. Yes. 3.5 hours...for a chicken breast.

4. Reliable utilities. Our internet has been shoddy lately...when we get it, it's almost dial-up speed. The internet is somewhat of a luxury (not to med students) but overall, fine, it's doable. Water...we're going through somewhat of a drought right now, so water's pretty valuable. I was told that we only have roughly 3 weeks of water left on the island, so conservation is crucial. There are times throughout the day where we have no water, but again, it's doable.

5. My car. The bus schedule sucks. Nuff said.

Two more months

Midterms are over. I am still alive. Was it difficult? Yes. Could it have been worse? Absolutely.

I pulled out alright. I didn't do as well as I thought I would, nor did I do as well as everyone here THINKS I did (I'm looking at you, Mendoza), but I did ok.

We pretty much partied all weekend...stayed in, did nothing, laid in bed all day, etc. Now, it's back to the beginning...

This semester, I figured that I'd actually put in the time daily (or at least once every two days) to study and catch up on classes so that I don't have to pull multiple all nighters. Yes. This I will do.

It's time to go study some, call some people back home, possibly clean my desk drawers as it's filled with randomness.

Cabin Fever

Yesterday, I made the ultimate mistake of studying for 11 hours straight (few breaks in between) on one subject: anatomy. Learning the muscles, their innervations, and their functions made me start losing it around 11pm. I couldn't retain any information even though I had just read it 20 seconds ago...and when I lifted my hand, I realized that it was trembling. Blech.

Thankfully, my buddies (@#$!nuts and Mendoza) dragged me out to Owl's (local watering hole) and...let's just say that my inability to sleep lately is gone methinks.

Today is Physiology Day. Tomorrow is Physiology Day. Saturday/Sunday is Biochemistry Day.

Wish me luck everyone.

5 Days Remaining...

Until midterm week begins.

I never knew what "studying" meant until now. It feels like I'm hanging my head outside and beating it with a whiffle ball bat constantly until it's reduced to a bloody pulp.

I must say, I have a newfound respect for the human brain and its ability to retain so much information. I also have a newfound respect for the human body and its ability to stay awake for such long periods of time.

Studying the human body makes me question one thing: God. Why...did he make the human body so darn convoluted/complex? Couldn't he make us like...gumby? He can walk, talk, etc...and I'm pretty sure he has no circulatory systems, nerve fibers, etc. I'm just sayin.

I have my anatomy midterm Monday afternoon, then Biochem + Ab Psych Thursday, then Physio Friday.

I'm fairly comfortable with Ab psych, seeing as I am a sociopath/psychopath (thanks to Mendoza, Babycakes, and Jersey for pointing that out). Apparently, I have psychopathic tendencies, which explains my inabilities to be "human" and have "human emotions." Whatevs.

Biochem is scaring the living daylights out of me, but no time to worry about that right now. More on anatomy than anything. Other than the multitude of things I have to know, I also have to know multiple skeletal components, as well as 68 muscles, their functions (trust me, they suck), and the nerves that innervate them. I've spent the past 3 days on this, and have yet to get anywhere close of finishing. I hope to finish by tonight, so I can at least sleep a little, so I can be lucid enough to start studying for physio/biochem in the remaining few days.

Few people have emailed asking for pictures, and I wanted to keep this somewhat anonymous, but I guess it's a little difficult with pics...and seeing as most of you guys know who I am...here you are:

Waiting for muscle lab:

After suture lab:

Suture Lab...I kicked ass on that sponge

Before we headed out. notice the black/blue theme

Third Week

Heyoooo

The third week of classes have begun, and quizzes/exams are right around the corner.

Studying has definitely beefed up quite a bit, as many students are constantly at Taylor Hall (think of it as a giant icebox with cubicles and angry med students), the library, and the dorm study halls. We have our first exam next Thursday, but it's on the typically easiest class we have, Abnormal Psychology, so I don't think many people are stressing too much over it. The classes that will whomp us seem to be Anatomy as well as Biochemistry, as we have a new professor (a Hopkins graduate), and no one knows his testing styles.

Last weekend, we went on a trip to Seven Sisters, which is a trail with a series of waterfalls. It is about a 30 - 45 minute drive away from campus and about a 30 minute hike into the mountains. It was good, we jumped off the small waterfall many a times, but we couldn't jump off the ginormous one due to the dry season and the pool only being 12 feet deep. There are plenty of pictures that were taken, but I don't have any of them, so I shall post them later.

The Weekend

This weekend approached quickly, and we are now officially done with our first week of classes.

Review of our classes:

Biochem - supposedly the hardest class...yet I am unimpressed. We have a new professor, who got his PhD at Hopkins, so in translation, it means we're all screwed to the tilt. Regardless, I am excited. Not much substance to learn so far, pretty much most of it is undergrad review, but we shall see.

Anatomy - It was easygoing until we hit Embryology. Holy crap I hate babies even more so after this. Our guest lecturer began to spit hot fire to the point she finished a supposedly 1 hr 15 min lecture in 30 minutes.

Physio - again, not much substance. Stokes (emory) revved me up for this, so I'm ready.

Learning Strat - by far, the most "why am I taking this class" deserving class ever. We do busy work. It is supposed to teach us how to "better study"...honestly, I'd study better if I didn't have to waste 1 hr 15 minutes a week on this class.

Friday night, we hustled over to a club called Karma, arguably the best club here. It reviewed as being comparable to a south beach miami club...and the review held, if that south beach miami club existed in the ghetto of the bronx. Perhaps I'm being too judgmental. It was a decent club, we had a good time...minus a few snafus due to overaggressive locals hitting on the women of our group, cab mix-ups, etc. Overall, a good time.

Next week, we'll be hitting up a waterfall called Seven Sisters. I'll try to post up mid-week.

First Class

I know, I know, I'm a little bit behind. Let me try to catch up.

We recently lost a new student, Ms. Maria, so Wednesday and Thursday, I took her around the island to get her some culture.

Wednesday, we went to the city of St. George's, where we hiked around, saw the sights, did a little shopping, and ate some local food.

Friday, we went to the city of Gouyave, where every Friday, they hold an event called Fish Friday, where all the local vendors come out and cook different varieties of fish in different ways. There's music, liquor, and it's just an overall cool experience. We crammed into a "reggae bus," which is virtually just a big van that goes VERY fast on curves and blasts loud soca (soul calypso) music.

Then, we hit up Fish Friday:

Overall, we had a good time. Good food and good laughs.

Monday, we had our first set of classes...it was the best time ever.

Today, another set of classes.

Tonight, one of the girls in our dorms is having her birthday, so we'll be going out to dinner for her and possibly be going to Banana's for their 2-for-1 night.

Days 2 and 3

So far, it's been the same. We get up in the morning, get some breakfast, and just try to settle in and adjust to the island. We go to the beach pretty often, have a good time; a lot of us are sunburnt. We also hit up a bar called Banana's pretty regularly (read: too often). So far, so good. This week is orientation week, where we introduce ourselves to the group, go to drug seminars, and register for classes. Not much to report until next week, I believe, as we have class starting Monday. Will report back when things happen.

Day 1

Hi everyone. Day 1 went as following:

I landed in GND after a 4.5 hour flight from JFK...flight was pretttty prettttyyy pretttttyyyyy uncomfortable. Couldn't sleep. Got here at 6:30am, where I was picked up by a cab driver and brought to the dorms. I moved in a little, got some breakfast, napped, then unpacked. I met up with a few friends from last semester and I had lunch with them, then went to the grocery store to go shopping, then napped some more.

I had to go to the airport with a few people to pick up lost/delayed luggage, as well as pick up a Ms. Perticari. We all came back, decided to go out to Banana's, and hung out there for a while. When we returned, some of us had the bright idea to go swimming on the beach at 2am...and did so until about 4am. That's the skinny of it all.

There are pictures available after the jump; however, due to Mr. McSavaney's desperate call for attention, he wanted a more personalized post: about how I am dealing with the entire situation. To be honest, I have told no one how I feel about this certain situation. I was here last semester for the ftm, and had to return home due to a business matter, and I went up to yonkers to work for about 4 months, until having to return back here. How did I feel about it? Well, for those who know me, they should know well enough that I rarely care much about anything. It's not apathy, it's simply the notion that I do things because I have to do them. I usually go with the flow until it stops flowing. So, did it suck having to go back home? Yes. How did I feel about working? Not too great, but again, had to do it. How do I feel about coming back here? A lot of people would assume that I'd be ecstatic to come back here, back in the heat, the beach, with my friends; to be honest, I'm not. Granted, I met some wonderful people here and I've also had the few of the best times of my life here, but I am genuinely worried about leaving my family back home. In the past 4 months while I was working in yonkers, they have become more dependent on me upon every aspect in life. Now, will they make it without me? Of course, will it go smoothly? Unlikely. I certainly hope they do alright while I'm gone, hope the business stands to do well without me, and hope that these four months fly by. I'm 23 (soon to be 24), and yes, it's way past my time for my family to let me go, but it seems that everytime I move out, somehow, they become more dependent upon me and they pull me back in. Four more months.

New blog!

I decided that since I'm going back to school again, I would start anew. So here's my promise to the web: I will update at least two times a week. Promise.

Currently in nyc. Business is still going. I'm leaving Jan 10th. This time, it'll be a straight shot, to GND...no more 38 hour flights, no more Trinidad and Tobago, just straight from nyc to gnd. Can't wait.